(SoapOperaNetwork.com) — “One Life to Live” keeps it all in the family with plot twists so convoluted and mind-boggling that you need a score card to keep up with just who is related to who.
First it was Walter Balsom, then it was Mitch Laurence, then it was Charlie Banks, and then (finally) it was Clint Buchanan. Is there a middle-aged man in Llanview that has not, at one time or another, been named as Rex’s biological father? Not really….other than maybe Nigel (which would be awesome by the way). But what is the point in all of that? The plot has been long and drawn out that it no longer even has any shock value. “What? Clint is really Rex’s father?” Yawn…so what? It’s no different than if the former cult leader Mitch Laurence were his flesh and blood. Not only has this storyline lost it element of suspense, it is no longer even has any humor left in it. In fact, it simply highlights the fact that the writing staff clearly has no idea how to write for the character of Rex or a way for him to fit in with the rest of the characters on the canvas. Moreover, Rex isn’t the only one person in Llanview that has fell prey to a mutated family tree. And while, thankfully, no one has yet to become their own grandpa (as the song goes), the writers appear to be headed in that general direction.
Take David for example. Not only are Bo and Matthew his father and brother, but Viki and Clint’s children are also now his cousins – Natalie biologically, and Kevin, Joey, and Jessica via adoption. David is also cousins with Rex, who is now Cord’s half-brother. Cord and Natalie are biological half-siblings, as are Natalie and Jessica, Kevin, and Joey (whom are full brothers). Also, Natalie and Jessica are twins…even though Jessica’s father is Mitch Laurence. Rex and Natalie, who have always thought of themselves as siblings now really are. But now Rex and Jessica are also siblings, but not for the first time. When Rex thought Mitch was his father, he and Jessica thought they were related then as well. Confused much? Just wait…there’s more.
If Dorian and David finally get married, Bo and Nora would become her father and step mother-in-law (which is about as weird as when Dorian was Viki’s step mother back in the day), and Matthew would be her brother-in-law. Matthew and Shane are cousins. Shane is being bullied by Jack who is the cousin of Shane’s cousins Jessica, Natalie, Joey, and Kevin. In addition, Jack is Dorian’s niece, and the grandson of Dorian’s sister and David’s ex-wife Addie. All this would mean that, should David and Dorian wed, Shane’s cousin (David) would be the uncle (by marriage) of Jack (his bully). And the list just goes on and on and on. Even for a soap opera, the Buchanan family tree contains way too many branches. Unfortunately these types of strange connect-the-dots type familial relationships seems to be as much of a favorite of the show’s writers as those ever increasing “Who’s the Daddy?” storylines. I’m just waiting for the day that they make Viki and Dorian sisters or, better yet, lesbian lovers. Because knowing this show, if the writers think they can get a few new viewers out of it, they’ll do it.
On an unrelated note, has anyone noticed the color change in the background of the sponsor card shown as each of the ABC soaps head into the commercial break at the beginning of each day’s episodes? I’m referring to one with the ABC logo in the corner and logo in the center of the screen for the title sponsor of that day’s show where the announcer says “ABC’s (soap name) is brought to you by….” Anyway the background behind the sponsor’s logo, which had been white, was recently changed to more of a orange/brown background. Not really a big deal, just an interesting observation in my opinion.
Moving on, it appears as if no one correctly identified last time’s mystery “OLTL” celebrity guest star, which was the British rock band Simply Red.
In case you missed the clues, here they are:
Llanview turned red in 2004 when Al presented Marcie with a very special Valentine’s Day treat, which included a performance by her favorite band.
Now it’s time to play another round of “Llanview, Who Am I?,” a new feature where you have to use the clues to figure out the identity of some mystery future celebrity from “OLTL’s” past. See if you can figure it out. Good luck!!!
Simon says that this actor who co-starred in a popular ’80s CBS primetime action drama played a cad on “One Life to Live” in the late 1970s.
So who is this mystery group from the past? I’ll have the answers in the March 30th edition of My View of Llanview. And don’t forget to check out my Twitter page for all the latest “OLTL” news and information at SON.
Now, before I wrap up this column, I’m going to look into my crystal ball and give you a quick sneak peek at a few things coming up a few weeks down the road. These are for the week of April 4th. A secret is exposed. Someone is pushed to their breaking point. Backed into a corner, one person tries to shift blame to another. An unlikely pair grow closer. And a mother needs a boost of confidence.
Well that’s concludes yet another column. Have a great St. Patrick’s Day and take care. And until next time remember, we only have “One Life to Live”…