My View of Llanivew: May 30 Edition

My View of Llanivew: May 30 Edition

(SoapOperaNetwork.com) — Hate Nate? Welcome to the club.

My hate of Nate didn’t start on any particular date, but instead I feel it was simply an act of fate. At any rate, whenever I see him on TV, my feelings of ill will toward him cannot be contained by a flood gate. But wait, even though it’s late, there’s more. Much like a smelly fish who was caught with some stinky bait, this is one character who has overstayed his welcome and needs to reeled in and relocated to another town because he’s starting to smell. By the way, did I have a cousin named Kate? That’s right mate, I can rhyme too, just like Ron Carlivati and the other writers on “One Life to Live” when they are choosing names for all of Jessica’s alters.

Humor aside, however, I really do detest the character of Nate. His actions this past week where he, in a fit of rage, violently punched Matthew in the head (a wound that has proven quiet serious), only served to validate my opinion of him. No offense to the actor (Lenny Platt), but Nate looks like he is at least twice as old as his girlfriend Dani (who has also run of her course on the show), and it is more than just a little creepy. I’m talking about Christina Chambers and Brandon Buddy (ex-Marty and Cole) kind of creepy. Remember when Chambers played Marty how the relationship between mother and son seemed just a bit too chummy — almost like they were flirting with one another, instead of having a proper family relationship?

I hate nearly everything about Nate, by the way. He really serves no purpose (I mean, we already have two other Ford brothers), and surely wouldn’t even be missed if he were to suddenly disappear. Seriously…name one thing you would miss about the character if he were gone? Thought so. I’m sure very few would even miss his parading around town without a shirt on 90% of the time. I mean, it’s not like there’s a shortage of other guys in Llanview who would be more than willing to do that at a moment’s notice and for even the flimsiest of reasons.

Speaking of which, how contrived and idiotic can this show get? The entire sequence revolving around Nate and Deanna’s water gun fight was not only a complete waste of airtime, but an insult to even the most casual of “One Life to Live” viewers. Watching the two of them running around the apartment half-naked with dialogue like Nate telling Deanna that he was “going to get her wet” (or something to that extent), is not exactly Emmy material.  I knew viewers were going to be in for a big letdown when Nate came home in his full Llanview Lions baseball uniform (cap, knee socks, stirrups, and all), saying that he was hot, and that he needed to take a shower. And, of course, the air conditioner had to be out as well…sounds like the beginning of a really bad porn movie doesn’t it? Oh wait, “OLTL” already has that covered, with slut peddler Rick Powers and his latest masterpiece “Hold the Pepperoni.” Throw in the strippers that were on the show a couple of years ago, and we’ve got a Cinemax Friday night softcore porn flick in the making, minus the nudity of course. They could call it “Llanview After Dark” or something like that. I should probably stop at this point, before I give them anymore ideas.

Nate just really needs to go away though. I don’t care if they kill him off, have him go missing, or simply move away, but he just needs to go. It’s bad enough that we still have his brothers Robert and James running amuck. James is annoying, what with spending his every waking moment thinking and dreaming of Starr so that he can inch closer to getting into her pants, and Robert with his hotdog costume and reading to sick kids at the hospital (let the redemption begin). And don’t even get me started about his hamburger costume-claded friend named Patty (talk about clever — if only) trying to “get cooking” with him. Although, if they were to start having sex, I would hope that Ford remembers to wear condiments…..sorry, couldn’t resist.

Anyway, my point is that, with “One Life” only having about seven months left on the air (barring some last minute reprieve) you would think that the show would find a more productive use of their dwindling airtime by returning the show to its core values and characters, and giving the majority of fans something they actually want to watch, and not be embarrassed about. And yes, I realize it is a soap opera, but still, it should be (and has been) more dignified than this crap.

I think Robin Strasser (Dorian) sums up the frustration shared by many “OLTL” fans regarding Llanview’s teen overload perfectly when she tweeted this weekend that “How BIG an ALLOWANCE do pre-teen+teens In a Frons-ian household get? They not buying big tkts.-yet. ‘Get ‘em young and grow them.’ Nonsense!”

And yes, although Nate looks like he is old enough to be eligible for AARP in scenes with other teens who are actually teens, he is a prime example of what is wrong with the show at the moment. Don’t confuse my Nate bashing with an assault on his portrayer, Lenny Platt, however. I’m not blaming him for his horrible character — after all, it’s not his fault. He just has to work with the material he is given (much like the rest of the cast these days). Hopefully, with any luck however, things will get better soon so that “One Life to Live” can have a proper sendoff, fitting of its long history and rich legacy. Fingers crossed.

Moving on, congratulations to “Michael Tunstall” and “Shariten,” both of whom correctly identified last time’s mystery “OLTL” celebrity guest star, which was former CNBC analyst and reporter Ted David.

In case you missed the clues, here they are:

In 2009, this former TV newsman moderated a debate between Llanview’s mayoral candidates.

Now it’s time to play another round of “Llanview, Who Am I?,” a new feature where you have to use the clues to figure out the identity of some mystery celebrity from “OLTL’s” past. See if you can figure it out. Good luck!!!

Here’s your clue….this aspiring actor found a more mature audience when he appeared in Llanview in 2009 as a thug.

So who is this mystery group from the past? I’ll have the answers in the June 15th edition of My View of Llanview. Bonus points if you can tell me the name of the show which first made him a star, and what storyline his “One Life” character was involved in. And don’t forget to check out my Twitter page for all the latest “OLTL” news and information at SON.

Now, before I wrap up this column, I’m going to look into my crystal ball and give you a quick sneak peek at a few things coming up a few weeks down the road. These are for the week of June 20th. Someone has a surprise visitor. A father demands answers. One person is seriously injured. And a patient at Llanview Hospital gets some potentially good news.

Well that’s concludes yet another column. Hope everyone has a safe and happy Memorial Day holiday. Remember to buckle up! Take care and stay safe. And until next time remember, we only have “One Life to Live”…

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