My View of Llanview: February 29 Edition

Blowing off steam
Friday, February 29, 2008 8:35 PM| By Scotty Gore

(SoapOperaNetwork.com) — My latest rant on Llanview’s current state.

Hello once again everyone. Hope you are as glad as I am that spring is just around the corner. I can hardly wait for the warmer temperatures and short wearing weather to return to my little corner of the planet. I am also looking forward to spring break, which unfortunately will likely be shortened this year because of days missed for snow and ice. There is even talk of us going to school on one or two Saturday’s in March. Which would be virtually unheard of for elementary, middle, and high school students in the U.S.A. these days. But anyway, I guess it beats going to school in the middle of the summer. Anywho, it’s time to talk a little about “One Life to Live.”

I have so busy with resume writing and lesson plans recently that I am still playing a little catch up on my “OLTL” viewing. However, I have watched all the episodes surrounding the “Go Red” Ball. I have to admit that I think they did a really good job with the costumes. It was nice seeing everyone all dressed in red. “OLTL” has some very beautiful women as part of their cast. And it was nice
to see several of the vets, such as Erika Slezak, Robin Strasser, and Hillary B. Smith involved in the a major storyline. Sure, at least half of the episodes were about Jared and his plight, but still I thought it was pretty nicely done. Although I am not particularly fond of Mr. Banks, I have to admit that he is starting to grow on me. I’m not sure why, but he is. Jared is actually one of the few newbies that I honestly care for. And that’s saying a lot.

When the going gets tough, add new sponsors? I guess cash must be in short supply these days around ABC Daytime, because there have been several product placements recently on “One Life to Live” alone, not to mention “All My Children” and “General Hospital.” Those three daytime sudsers have been hawking everything from Campbell’s Soup to V-8 Juice to the Oscars, and Big East College Basketball. I guess the next thing we’ll see is Roxy Balsom doing a commercial for Vitameatavegiman. I mean, come on, are they [i]that[/i] desperate for new sponsors? I can understand the logic with the soup and juice, what with the “Go Red” Ball to promote healthy heart care, but still I thought it was a bit over the top. And the Oscar mention happens every year, when Rex talks about the never seen celebration at Ultra Violet. Give me drama and good writing any day over a sixty-minute infomercial.

While we’re on the subject of the ball, can Jessica get anymore stupid? She is acting like she just fell off the turnip truck yesterday (in the afternoon, just before 5:00 pm). It was one thing when she got herself committed to St. Ann’s, it
was stupid, stupid, stupid when she broke Allison Perkins out of St. Ann’s, but it was absolutely, totally moronic to watch her beg for her life like a little baby when threatened at gunpoint by Allison. Granted, she was being held at gunpoint
(and I would probably do the same thing), but Jessica has always been more strong willed than that. She used to be more independent and tough than she is now. I blame that partly on that immature pretty boy husband of hers, however I also blame that on her family for allowing her to become a total wimp and spoiled little brat. I found myself rooting for Allison in those scenes, and was somewhat disappointed when Jared stepped in to help the little scaredy cat.

Speaking of Allison, I have to ask several important questions–“Was that it?” Was that the whole point in bring her back? To make Jared look like a hero, and to taunt the audience with a secret not even the writers themselves probably don’t
even know yet? And then to place Llanview’s beloved evil psychopath in a coma hovering on the brink of death? If so, then all I can say is, “what a waste!” I’m certain the writer’s strike had something to do with little gaff, but still it makes me wonder if anyone ever had any plan in place whatsoever when called Barbara Garrick and asked her to return in the first place. Maybe I’m alone in my thinking, but this return appears to have had no purpose other than to serve as a stunt which obliviously did not work. How do I know this? Just look at the ratings. “OLTL” is near the bottom once more. I love Allison Perkins just as much as the next person, but sometimes no matter how much air fresheners you spray in the bathroom, the place still smells like crap. Literally.

Now don’t get me wrong, “OLTL” is much improved than it was just one year ago. And the veterans are receiving increasing amounts of airtime and storylines. However, the ratings still have not recovered. But then again, neither have the ratings for the other two ABC soaps. How Brian Frons still has a job is beyond my level of understanding, and apparently everyone else’s as well. When the network you are in charge of loses over three million viewers in one year, you would think the person in charge would be reassigned to flippin’ burgers at McDonald’s, but not good ole Frons. Instead, he is still employed by the alphabet network and STILL in his present position. It almost leaves one to believe that perhaps ABC is deliberately trying to sink its daytime line-up. If so, they are likely trying one of two options–either they are allowing Frons to do whatever means he deems necessary to continuously flush their soaps down the drain, or he really is that clueless, and thinks that his ideas are it on a stick, with the ABC brass knowing better but going along for the ride in an attempt to kill two birds with one stone if the soaps get cancelled and Frons finally gets canned. Either way, it doesn’t look good. And even if ABC is not intentionally trying to destroy their daytime programs, it still leaves a viewer to wonder why he hasn’t lost his job already. Perhaps a higher power than I can answer that question. Calling Errol, paging Toups…where are you. hahaha…anyway, he needs to be fired, like three years ago. And, as if you couldn’t tell, ‘like it on a stick’ is my new catchphrase. Man I need a life.

Saving the best for last, it’s time to take a quick look at some of the plotlines coming up on “OLTL” a couple of weeks down the road. A cop may lose his fortune when victims of his family’s wrath sue for damages. A protective father refuses to allow his daughter anywhere near her boyfriend. The beau of Llanview’s leading lady learns the truth about her long-standing feud with another. A younger steps back out into the world for the first time since losing her son. A local artist may be hired to design a new label. One of Llanview’s most hated women comes clean about her scheme. And the town’s newest father and son duo gain the upperhand on their blackmailer.

Well, that’s all for this edition of the column. I hope you enjoyed this edition of the column. My sincere apologizes for this column not being any longer. However there is only so much time in the time. I’ll try to write more next time.
Have a great weekend everyone, and hope you enjoyed this extra day of February. That’s all for now; please be sure and join me again on March 15th See you next time. Take care and stay safe.

And until next time remember, we only have “One Life to Live” …..

Pictured: My View of Llanview courtesy Matt Smith/Soap Opera Network

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